From ‘I’m Not Ready’ to ‘I’m Ready’: De-hypnotizing a Lifetime of Waiting
Inside the shift from anxious procrastination to calm, consistent doing
The Trance of “I’ll Wait”
Nesta (name and details altered for privacy; shared with permission) lived in a trance called “I’m going to wait.”
Wait to start.
Wait to decide.
Wait to feel safe enough to take action.
Then one question flipped the old script: What do I have to gain?
Action followed.
Nesta’s daily thoughts were occupied with overthinking and assuming the worst. Daily group texts with family on WhatsApp triggered strong feelings around money and family dynamics.
“I’m not ready. I’ll wait.”
She was juggling years of job resentments; she felt filled with grief due to loss and medical trauma. A core program: “I’m not ready / I’ll wait” was permeating her health choices, family-planning decisions, and everyday goals.
This emotional burden told a physical story as well. She woke up exhausted and depleted. She was tired of life and work, easily frustrated with family and coworkers as those stored emotions spilled over.
She craved calm, patience, purpose, and loving connection.
When ‘Later’ Turns Into ‘Never’
Nesta came to me because she realized “later” was actually becoming “never.”
Caught in a daily loop of self-doubt she felt paralyzed and unable to move forward.
Added to that were a mountain of frustrated and fearful feelings about all the lost time.
With all these stressful emotions it was becoming harder to avoid the COVID-era losses she didn’t want to think about: her miscarriage and the isolation that compounded it due to COVID hospital policies.
How Change Really Sticks
I guide clients through memory reconsolidation, and I see the same pattern again and again: how we do one thing is how we do everything. We recycle memories, and the patterns they taught us, across life.
I’ve found it to be incredibly true because we recycle memories and end up repeating the patterns they hold throughout different parts of life.
Nesta’s “I’m not ready / I’m going to wait” trance was showing up in the certification she started years ago and wasn’t moving forward with, a cleanse she was “waiting” to start, it was showing up in work, and in her relationships too.
Mapping the Pattern (M.U.D. and More)
Together, we mapped how the ‘I’m going to wait’ pattern was built: the memories, feelings, sensations, emotions, and her unique M.U.D. (misguided unconscious decisions).
She had over a dozen specific and vivid memories filled with emotional charge. Each one felt overwhelming to Nesta.
Across three two-hour sessions (Oct 23–Nov 5), Nesta and I washed away her M.U.D with memory reimprinting.
Three Core Memories We Rewrote
The top three memories we addressed were: a miscarriage in 2020 (and the fear it might happen again), the isolation of that Christmas due to COVID policies, and a history of childhood sexual abuse that hardened fear around life and intimacy.
Here’s why that matters: when we safely reactivate a painful memory and pair it with a real experience of safety, the brain ‘resaves’ the file.
This is memory reconsolidation, and after a memory is reconsolidated future triggers lose their charge.
With each memory, we released the intense emotions, rewrote M.U.D., rewired emotional holding patterns, and retrained Nesta’s nervous system.
The result: Nesta is free from re-experiencing those old triggers in the future.
Practice Between Sessions
In between each session Nesta named the patterns as they came up and challenged them in real time. Each time Nesta did this she was rewriting, rewiring, and retraining herself.
Each night, she played a short, personalized audio before bed. That brief rehearsal consolidated our session gains and biased her brain toward the outcomes she wanted.
Her self-talk began to evolve as “What do I have to lose?” evolved to “What do I have to gain?”
Frustration and annoyance faded as gratitude for her life and husband filled her consciousness.
She adopted my formula to 10X her gratitude practice: I’m grateful for ________, because ________. How does it get even better than this? Wouldn’t it be great if ________?
This simple practice trains a bias toward positive expectancy.
Proof in Daily Life
In between sessions the real proof of change began showing up.
Nesta sent long-avoided insurance invoices; she made an ‘I’m Ready’ phone screensaver. A visible identity shift.
One of Nesta’s long term coping mechanisms underwent a radical change as well.
Stress-hunger dropped from ‘nonstop grazing’ to ‘not hungry’ during two high-stress moments this week.
Nesta was taking more emotional power and control during the day. She began to identify and interrupt overthinking using tapping and addressed her M.U.D. in real time.
Identity Shift: ‘I’m Ready’
With these actions, anxiety became autonomy. Nesta’s identity shift from “I need to wait” to “I’m ready” is rocket fuel for new behaviors.
Part of these changes is the result of reducing stress. I remind my clients of the importance of emptying their stress bucket daily, because high stress puts tunnel vision in the driver’s seat and your best options in the back. That’s not a fun way to drive.
Schedule it. Dress for it. Go for it.
By emptying her stress bucket every day, Nesta created a friction-free exercise plan: schedule it, dress for it, go for it. ‘I don’t know what to do’ became ‘I have a plan.’
Simply by creating space and a plan the old “I don’t know what to do” becomes “I have a plan.”
Try This Next
How can you apply this to your life?
“When we change what a memory means, the body stops bracing for the past.”
Name it and claim it. Write your most common put-it-off phrase and three places it shows up.
Upgrade your question. Swap ‘What do I have to lose?’ for ‘What do I have to gain?’ Put it on a sticky note.
Get a gratitude groove. “I’m grateful for __________, because __________. → How does it get even better than this? → Wouldn’t it be great if __________?”
Claim your calm. Pick a happy micro-memory; relive it with all five senses. Take a deep breath in, let it out, squeeze your wrist, say “Peace.”
Empty your stress bucket. Rate it 0–10 daily. Use tapping and/or Havening Touch to drain it. (Resources: Faster Changes with Nicola.)
‘Later’ used to mean ‘never.’ Now it means ‘next.’
Make ‘Later’ Become ‘Next’
Are you ready to make your ‘later’ become ‘next’?
Start with my free Quantum Repatterning Journey: a short guided reset to calm your nervous system and focus your mind.
If you love how grounded you feel, the Golden Light Series builds on it with five soothing audios that train your unconscious to expect peace, confidence, and better choices - on repeat.