Mental Reset: Refresh Your Mind, Renew Your Life
Learn how to dismantle outdated beliefs and cultivate a thriving mindset.
Introduction: The Unseen Influences Keeping You Stuck
Old, useless beliefs that once served us now trap us in repetitive cycles, limiting our potential. By identifying and challenging these outdated mental scripts, we can rewrite our lives and unlock our true potential.
What if the beliefs that feel as natural to you as breathing are keeping you stuck?
Understanding Useless Beliefs
Our beliefs about self and the world drive our very lives. They form our paradigm and worldviews. Some are very useful, and some that may have been useful in the context they were created are useless today.
Useless beliefs:
They hold us back from reaching our potential.
They generalize negative feelings from past experiences into future situations.
They distort our interactions in the present moment.
They filter out any evidence that contradicts our limiting assumptions.
Consider this powerful insight from Henry Ford:
This quote encapsulates how our beliefs shape our reality, underscoring the importance of questioning and revising those that no longer serve us.
A Client’s Story: Sheila’s Double Bind
While seated in my ergonomic balance chair and facing my client, I asked a question that revealed a deeply held belief she hadn’t fully recognized.
Operating outside of her conscious awareness, Sheila (not her real name) assumed she could have a happy marriage or a happy career, but not both. She didn’t realize it, but her unconscious mind had set up a double bind, trapping her within two limiting options.
These beliefs, deeply rooted in her childhood, stemmed from her mother’s own unfulfilled dreams. Her mother, who once aspired to become a doctor, felt forced into an arranged marriage and ultimately resigned herself to a life of motherhood.
As a result, Sheila entered the world in the midst of a narrative that echoed:
“I can’t have what I want, life isn’t fair, and unhappiness is all that’s left.”
Despite repeatedly vowing, “I will not be like my mother” (a promise many of us made in childhood) her worldview was already set in stone, with invisible puppet strings controlled by her unconscious mind.
Although this limiting belief wasn’t truly hers to begin with, it held her back. In her family and career, Sheila unwittingly reenacted her mother’s story, shouldering resentment and conflict instead of embracing joy.
First came the awareness. Once Sheila recognized the double bind, we employed two powerful psychosensory modalities, FasterEFT and Havening Techniques, to release the emotional charge of those childhood memories and shift her perception.
Finally, Sheila consciously crafted and embraced new, empowering beliefs: a transformation she continues to embody today.
Her journey serves as a powerful reminder: by bringing unconscious beliefs into the light and actively reshaping them, we can break free from inherited limitations and create a life that aligns with our true potential.
Recognizing and Questioning Your Own Beliefs
Do you ever wonder if a hidden, useless belief is secretly steering your life?
What’s the big deal about beliefs?
A useful belief fosters a growth mindset. For example, consider these empowering statements:
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I am worthy of a loving, lasting relationship.
I’m smart and I can find solutions to challenges.
After working with Sheila, she was able to let go of an outdated belief that wasn’t even truly hers, it was inherited from her mother. By releasing that either/or mindset, she embraced a both/and perspective: I can be happy in my marriage and have a career I love.
Marissa Peer says, “First you make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make you.”
Our childhood experiences give rise to beliefs, and our unconscious mind uses confirmation bias to shape who we are. For instance, if you believe “I’m not good enough,” every situation is filtered through that lens.
Your husband’s glance may be misinterpreted as proof that he isn’t happy with you, triggering sensations of fear, worry, or dread.
You might distort neutral words into judgment or criticism, causing feelings of hopelessness and sadness.
Past failures can be overgeneralized, stopping you from trying again as that familiar fear of failure rises up.
You may even filter out compliments, praise, or new possibilities that contradict your limiting assumptions.
This is how the unconscious mind reinforces our beliefs.
Use those sensations, feelings, and emotions as signals. They alert you to the possibility that an unconscious, outdated belief is influencing your actions. If you’re feeling afraid to try something new, pause and ask yourself:
When have I felt this way before?
What did I believe about myself or the world during that experience?
Is there a recurring phrase from my childhood—like “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” “Don’t be so selfish,” or “No, you can’t have what you want”—that might be holding me back?
A belief such as “you can’t have what you want” can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you never ask for what you desire because you expect rejection, you’re essentially saying no to yourself before anyone else can.
Summing this up:
Recognizing and questioning your own beliefs is the first step toward transformation. By tuning into your emotional signals and challenging the narratives that limit you, you pave the way for a mindset that embraces possibility and growth.
Remember, your beliefs are not set in stone, they’re the starting point for change.
Tools for Rewriting Your Beliefs
By now, you’ve identified a useless belief or two. The next step is to question their validity and ask yourself: Is this truly my belief, or is it one I’ve inherited from someone else? For instance, as with Sheila, she had adopted her mom’s idea that she could only have a happy marriage or a happy career, never both.
Awareness is the first step in changing beliefs. Once you recognize that you’re operating under an outdated mindset, you can counter those thoughts as they arise.
Shifting Your Perspective with the Pearl Habit
One powerful method I teach my clients is called a Pearl Habit, inspired by Dr. BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits. A Pearl Habit takes an irritant, a negative thought, and uses it as a prompt for positive change.
Here’s how mine works:
When I notice a negative thought, I ask three positive “what if” questions:
What if I do ask?
What if it’s easy to ask?
What if they say yes?
This simple exercise helps disrupt the old thought pattern and opens up a space for new, empowering possibilities. Your mind cannot resist answering the questions.
Harnessing Psychosensory Modalities
In addition to the Pearl Habit, I also use powerful psychosensory techniques like FasterEFT and Havening Techniques. These methods leverage the mind-body connection to shift perception:
FasterEFT uses pattern interrupts with meridian tapping to reframe how you perceive a situation.
Havening Techniques employ soothing touch and distraction to de-potentiate triggers in the amygdala.
Both approaches are effective for transforming useless beliefs into useful ones by reducing the emotional charge behind them.
Cultivating New Beliefs with Affirmations and Visualization
Now, let’s talk about cultivating new beliefs. Most people think of affirmations as the positive statements you occasionally repeat to yourself. However, affirmations encompass anything you repeatedly tell yourself, even the negative thoughts that play at 3:00 AM, discouraging you from asking for a pay raise.
Consider this analogy: Have you ever pressed on the gas pedal only to realize the emergency brake was still engaged? You have two choices, force your way through the resistance, or release the brake and move forward smoothly.
The same is true with your mind. Instead of pushing harder against your limiting beliefs, use affirmations to replace them.
Sources for Useful Affirmations:
Flip Your Limiting Belief:
For example, change “Nothing ever works out for me” to “Everything is always working out for my highest good.”Starter Phrases:
Use a template like, “I’m so happy and grateful now that I am…” and complete it with a positive, present-tense behavior (e.g., “I’m asking for what I want with confidence”).Inspiration from Louise Hay:
Explore her extensive list of affirmations. One of my favorites is, “I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.”My Personal Favorite:
“I think it. I do it. I get it done.” I use this affirmation alone or as a tag-line to reinforce other positive statements.
Imagine pouring fresh water into a pool of stagnant water, your repeated, well-chosen affirmations refresh and replace your outdated beliefs. Consistency is key because the unconscious mind clings to the familiar. When you introduce a new, shiny affirmation that conflicts with your old dusty belief, make sure you reinforce it consistently.
Visualization: Making the New Belief Familiar
Visualize yourself acting out your new affirmation. Mentally rehearse:
What will you see when you ask for what you want?
What will you hear when someone says yes?
How will you feel in your body during that experience?
By visualizing with rich sensory details, you make the unfamiliar familiar. This mental rehearsal helps your mind accept the new belief as reality. It is worth adding that the unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a vividly imagined event and a real event.
Taking Action: The Final Ingredient
Remember, no amount of affirmations and visualization will drive change unless you take action. Belief change is not a passive process. Roll up your sleeves and get in the trenches. Choose small, consistent actions that align with your new beliefs, and soon you’ll find that you’re not just dreaming of change, you’re actively manifesting it.
My Personal Journey: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
It was a beautiful summer day on Long Island, and I stood on the front stoop, proudly waving my very first paycheck at my mom. To my shock and surprise, she wasn’t as overjoyed as I had expected. Instead, she grabbed the paycheck from my hand and uttered a fateful statement: “You can’t be trusted with money.”
At 16 that moment created a powerful limiting belief that controlled me well into my early 40s. Every choice I made reflected the notion that I couldn’t be trusted with money. I became the poster child for “can’t be trusted with money.” I remember feeling as if money had to be spent as fast as I received it. Even if I wanted to save money something would always turn up to empty my savings.
Everything began to change when I discovered FasterEFT. I started by addressing the memories that had supported this belief. Then, after reading The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, I learned how to use affirmations, visualization, and deliberate action to forge powerful new beliefs.
Today, my affirmation makes me smile as I steadily build momentum: “I ‘Warren Buffett’ my money. I think it. I do it. I get it done.”
Your Turn
Now that you know how to:
Identify useless (or limiting) beliefs
Connect them to past events
Reframe them
Affirm a new reality
Visualize it as true, and
Take consistent action
You can break free from your own chains.
What limiting belief are you going to address first? Share in the comments below.