Pain Isn't Always About the Event
How working with the mind's predictions resolved post-surgical pain.
My friend’s husband hurt his knee working on a fence. He felt it pop and the pain that followed told him something was injured.
The pain was extreme. He couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t work. Couldn’t do much around the house. Couldn’t walk.
The doctor said he needed surgery, but couldn’t schedule it for three months. My friend asked if I’d work with her husband to see if we could reduce the pain while he waited.
She’s had several sessions with me and experienced positive shifts, so she’s admittedly biased toward this work. He, however, was not open to it initially.
When I went over to chat in August, he was clear: “I know it’s real pain. I know it happened. The doctor confirmed it. There’s nothing that can change that.”
I didn’t push. I never do. I’m not going to try and convince someone of something different than what they’ve convinced themselves of. If someone’s open to working with what’s happening in their mind, I have the tools, but I won'’t force them.
Time passed. Three months. He had the surgery.
Two months post-op, my friend asked again: “Would you please work with my husband? He still can’t sleep. He’s in so much pain.”
He was open now. I went over that weekend.
What was happening after surgery:
His skin couldn’t be touched - no sheets, no clothing on that knee without an angry, non-stop sensation
He felt limited in function, not progressing as he should, like it was getting worse
An identity belief: “I’ve never been flexible” based on memories of barely touching his toes in fitness tests
Fear of putting any weight on the knee or kneeling down - he’d needed a pillow, couldn’t do work tasks that required kneeling (afraid he never would again)
A core belief: “I can’t do it. It will implode on me.”
Underpinning all of it was fear and stress as the family’s breadwinner - the terror he’d lose his job because he felt so limited at work. That fear became anchored to the pain.
We worked with everything his mind was producing. Because it is a production. We don’t realize we’re constantly predicting what will happen next when it comes to pain. We’re looking for it.
We worked through the resources in his mind:
The sheets touching - until that was fine in his mind
Jeans touching - until that was fine in his mind
Then I had him touch his skin. It felt fine.
We tackled the emotions around flexion. The PT exercises. The feeling it wasn’t happening fast enough. We use “should” to apply all kinds of unhelpful internal pressure. And there was fear - fear the knee wouldn’t ever work the same way again. Fear he’d lose his job.
That was like a dam breaking. A tsunami of bottled-up emotions poured out. His relaxation after was profound.
In his mind, he saw something new. Instead of being stuck at 110º of flexion, he was breezing beyond that to 150º.
Last, we cleaned up everything he was rehearsing about putting pressure on that knee. Kneeling down. The need for a pillow. Being able to get up from the floor again. More fear and stress driving the pain and sleeplessness came out.
The result: He slept great that night and has ever since. The skin is no longer sensitive. His stress is greatly reduced and, as a result, so is the lingering pain.
Pain isn’t always about an event. Sometimes it’s a response to what we’re practicing inside. And we can learn to practice something new.
This is what’s possible when you learn to work with your mind instead of against it.
Join me for Love Your Stress Away on Friday, February 13th at 10:30 am Mountain Time.
Love Your Stress Away is a free workshop where you’ll learn to empty your stress bucket and practice something new.
Because stress isn’t just something that happens to you. It’s something you’re producing inside. And you can learn to produce something different.
Click here: Love Your Stress Away (Space is limited)
I enjoyed this article very much. The mind is so powerful. What an amazing gift you have. Thank you for sharing.
Nicola - To be able to understand, as an ongoing healer, the difference between when the mind in ready or at least more ready versus when it is closed off and less open to change is such an invaluable experience to learn as a healer. Sometimes, I have to meet the person and smile and ask them to tell me a bit about themselves, where they are at in their lives and what they are looking for help with. What they share in the first few sessions versus what comes out in later sessions is pretty interesting.
I love listening to how other experienced healers go about the craft of healing. Thank you for sharing a bit about yours. I always find value in it :)