This is such a clear, compassionate articulation of what so many people feel but can’t name.
I really appreciate how you normalize the loop instead of pathologizing it. Naming M.U.D. and L.A.P. puts language to something I see constantly in high-functioning, capable people who are exhausted from “trying harder” when their nervous system is protecting them based on old information.
The way you describe willpower failing isn’t shaming; it’s relieving. There’s a deep exhale in realizing, “Oh… this isn’t a character flaw. It’s a survival pattern.” And the distinction between memory work alone vs. identity-level rewiring feels especially important. That’s the missing bridge so many people fall off after they’ve done “all the work” and still end up back in the same place.
I also love how grounded this is in real change, letting the nervous system learn something new instead of forcing it to comply.
For anyone who’s been stuck in the loop of insight without integration, this is going to land deeply. I know that the way to the freedom we want is getting the right tools and support. We can let go of trying to do it ALL ourselves and your program sounds like this amazing combination! Thank you for this!
This really landed for me. You put clear words to something I have felt for a long time but could not explain. The way you describe M.U.D. and L.A.P. helps me see that the struggle is not failure, it is my nervous system trying to stay safe. That shift alone is powerful. I also appreciate how you connect memory work to identity, because real change only lasts when how we see ourselves changes. I know this will help me, and I know it will help many others too. Thank you for sharing.
I want to name something, because work like this can be hard to recognize while you’re inside it. What’s being offered here isn’t self-improvement, but a patient conversation with one’s nervous system; the part of us that learned how to survive before it learned how to choose. If these weeks feel quieter, messier, or less dramatic than expected, that isn’t a setback; it often means something deeper is easing. Old patterns don’t loosen because we push them, but because they begin to feel safe. There’s nothing to get right here; no insight quota, no reward for pushing through. Small shifts matter. Noticing sooner matters. Resting without explanation matters. I have deep respect for spaces that move at the body’s pace instead of the ego’s. That kind of care stays with people.
I'm thrilled to see you pull this together, Nic! This is the reason that affirmation do not work. And you put together a sensitive, supportive cohort. Bravo!!
This is such a clear, compassionate articulation of what so many people feel but can’t name.
I really appreciate how you normalize the loop instead of pathologizing it. Naming M.U.D. and L.A.P. puts language to something I see constantly in high-functioning, capable people who are exhausted from “trying harder” when their nervous system is protecting them based on old information.
The way you describe willpower failing isn’t shaming; it’s relieving. There’s a deep exhale in realizing, “Oh… this isn’t a character flaw. It’s a survival pattern.” And the distinction between memory work alone vs. identity-level rewiring feels especially important. That’s the missing bridge so many people fall off after they’ve done “all the work” and still end up back in the same place.
I also love how grounded this is in real change, letting the nervous system learn something new instead of forcing it to comply.
For anyone who’s been stuck in the loop of insight without integration, this is going to land deeply. I know that the way to the freedom we want is getting the right tools and support. We can let go of trying to do it ALL ourselves and your program sounds like this amazing combination! Thank you for this!
Thank you, Meg. I'm excited to launch The Permission Experiment into the world! I appreciate your comment very much :) my friend.
This really landed for me. You put clear words to something I have felt for a long time but could not explain. The way you describe M.U.D. and L.A.P. helps me see that the struggle is not failure, it is my nervous system trying to stay safe. That shift alone is powerful. I also appreciate how you connect memory work to identity, because real change only lasts when how we see ourselves changes. I know this will help me, and I know it will help many others too. Thank you for sharing.
Earl, thank you. I'm thrilled it landed for you and shared a transformative perspective!
I want to name something, because work like this can be hard to recognize while you’re inside it. What’s being offered here isn’t self-improvement, but a patient conversation with one’s nervous system; the part of us that learned how to survive before it learned how to choose. If these weeks feel quieter, messier, or less dramatic than expected, that isn’t a setback; it often means something deeper is easing. Old patterns don’t loosen because we push them, but because they begin to feel safe. There’s nothing to get right here; no insight quota, no reward for pushing through. Small shifts matter. Noticing sooner matters. Resting without explanation matters. I have deep respect for spaces that move at the body’s pace instead of the ego’s. That kind of care stays with people.
Nicola Vitkovich does amazing work in this space.
Thank you 🙏 you honor me with your comment.
One thing I had to personally learn (over and over) was pushing harder hindered the process. That’s why I named it The Permission Experiment.
I'm thrilled to see you pull this together, Nic! This is the reason that affirmation do not work. And you put together a sensitive, supportive cohort. Bravo!!